i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
