tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
A+ Viking dick
Why did my mother make you get naked?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
