walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
