weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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