Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
