You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i just made my gag reflex go away.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
