Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize
