Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
