I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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