Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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