party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
