You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
