I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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