i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
did i just pee glitter
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
