you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
