you would pick up someone in the library
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
