just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
