Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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