I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
