you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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