I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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