Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
