I want to have your abortion
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Randomize
