I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
