we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
