I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Randomize
