Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
