So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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