I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
