Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
