Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
