i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
