if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
