Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
