Having a random hookup so left but love u
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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