Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
