Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
