you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
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i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
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By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize