so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize