I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Floor bacon is actually really good
how drunk are you?
Several
Randomize
