Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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