I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
