Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I didn't notice because vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize