Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
