I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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