cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize