Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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