problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
