she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
