Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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