Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
