god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
