ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
