Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
