No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
of course. lets lasso hookers.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
