told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
