...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I forget how to act sober
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