Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
