okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
It's official drugs can't kill me
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
