We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
