I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
