Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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