I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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